The Road Less Traveled....

Today, I was thinking to myself, wondering why everything I do always seems so hard, then I came to a realization. I put myself through difficult situations on purpose on a daily basis. When there are two options, or two metaphorical roads to take, I ALWAYS choose the one I know will be more difficult. No matter what the circumstances I'll choose the one that takes much more time, and effort, the one I am positive will be extremly hard. The one I know I'll have a 80% chance of failure but a 20% chance of the result being brilliant as opposed to the one where I have a 99% chance of doing well and a 1% chance of failure. It's the way I always do things, whether its something as simple as what to eat to a major life altering decision. Am I insane? Is this some odd form of masochism? Am I an overachiever? Or am I just a dreamer? Do you ever put yourself through things like this?

The Way We Think While In Shock

Have you ever felt an overwhelming feeling of shock? Yesterday I got news of something so surprising that at first i sat there speechless, and in my amazement I just involuntarily blocked it out and went on like nothing happened. Then I convinced myself that what I had heard simply was not true, there had to be some misunderstanding. Then once I found out more and became aware that as sad as it was, it was true, I justified it. I went so far as to disguise something that I normally would be so opposed to and disgusted by to something that was no big deal. I recently came out of shock and am now however still surprised, I am able to see the situation for what it is, and am quite hurt. Now this string of thoughts and emotions has made a question arise for me. Why does our mind go through these stages? How are we capable of convincing ourselves that something we know is wrong, something we have outwardly opposed is suddenly okay? Why do we torture ourselves by thinking and obsessing even about things? I've come up with a few theories...but am interested as to what others think. If your reading this, please leave a comment and subscribe to my blog. P.S. soon I'll be explaining the name of my blog and the meanings behind it.

Peace, Zandra